House Pics - Updated

Master Bathroom 1
Master Bathroom 2

Office
Livingroom 1
Livingroom 2 (with view of entryway)

Dining Room (with view to kitchen)
Kitchen
Master Bedroom 1
Master Bedroom 2

 







 Master Bedroom 3

Office

 






Stairwell 1

 



Stairwell 2

 


Stairwell 3 (my fav. window)

 


Blue Bedroom 1

Blue Bedroom 2 

Purple Bedroom 1

Purple Bedroom 2

Life Update

A few updates for those who read my blog...

Youth Ministry Related - In August, the Rhiza Student Ministry Team met to discuss what our upcoming semester of student ministry would look like. We discussed curriculum, leaving seniors, upcoming freshman, outreach programs, mentoring programs, etc. The biggest decision on the table was related to what night we would have each ministry. After two evenings of in depth discussion where all possible problems were addressed and solved, we decided to change the night of "The Gathering" (Sr High) to Wednesday. The intent behind the change was to allow families more time together; both our own and the families of our students. Less trips to the church, less time away from your loved ones, etc.

Since that time, we've established a clear schedule of combined and separate times of ministry for both "The Gathering" and "Edge" (Jr High). Last week was our first official week and it flowed rather smoothly and the ministry was as effective as it had been in the past. The combination of the ministries has been an answer to prayer already and I'm excited to see the new opportunities we will have as an outcome.

Home Related - I have only one "space" yet to paint in the new house. Learning the correct way to paint has been frustrating and yet its very satisfying to look around and know that I did it myself. Once the painting is finished, I may tackle stripping and sanding the painted hardwood floors in my office and foyer. Not quite sure yet. I had a great crop of tomatoes and zucchini from my expirimental planter garden. What I didn't use off the vine, I've canned and stored for use through the winter. (very "home-makerish," I know.) I haven't yet overcome my spider roommate problem. I have a few cans of poison that might do the trick but I haven't made the time to use them yet. That will probably happen soon - I'm getting really tired of nasty wolf spiders sneaking up on me.

Last but not least, I now sell Mary Kay. It's something new, hopefully successful, and what's more fun than playing with make-up all the time! A friend of mine convinced me to try it so now I've got my foot in the door. I'm excited to see where the new venture takes me.

That's all I've got for now... I'll try and add house pics in a new posting. Love to all.

Great Weekend

This past weekend (and most of the entire week) I finally got the much needed rest that I needed. I laugh as I type that because many of my friends wouldn't find most of what I did to be restful but I'm not referring to physical rest.

For starters, last week our youth program was different due to combining both ministries for the week. Wednesday evening I scrambled trying to remember names for even a fraction of the 60 Jr and Sr High students but we had a great time sweating in the sauna that is called the "Christian Service Center," playing games, having sundaes, and generally just getting to know each other. I'm praying that the relationships developed last week continue to grow into beneficial relationships for both the older and younger students.

Because everyone was there Wed., Thursday I had a wonderful evening to myself. (Thank You Derek) I had a quick can of spaghettios for dinner so as to not waste a precious moment of my time cooking and then did absolutely nothing for the entire evening. No kids came, no calls, no computer, no planning, no research - nothing. In fact, I took a nap believe it or not. 6PM and I was snoozing on the couch. I read a little, watched some TV, tinkered with a couple of things. It was glorious! Don't get me wrong; I love the things and people in my life that pull me in a million directions but in order to be involved in so many lives, I have to make the time once in awhile for myself.

As to the rest of the weekend, I was able to get quite a bit accomplished. I spent Friday evening cleaning my basement in preparation for coal storage and canning in the fall. Saturday, along with some of my family and a couple of the students, I unloaded coal into my basement and my parent's shed, ran wiring and fixtures for lights and outlets in the loft of my barn, and had a group of friends (and their families) from HS over for a "birthday party." Sunday after church I finished painting my bathroom and livingroom and prepped for other painting projects. As I sat down to watch "Extreme Make-Over Home Addition" lat night, I was exhausted from all of the things I'd accomplished and yet the stress that I'd been feeling over the last couple of weeks had vanished. At that moment, I was thoroughly and totally relaxed.

Hello Monday!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Did I mention that I bought a house in April. Yes, I know... "what a big girl I am."

It's a huge adventure for me with many projects ranging from small to large. When I signed on the dotted line, visions of changes were running through my head. I love construction so my dreams were big. Reality has placed my feet back on the ground though and the reality is that I'm a very busy gal. For example, I've been in the house for nearly 3 months and have yet to finish painting even the first floor rooms. (not that there's any rush but let me make my point) My bathroom was the first room I tackled (in early May) and I still haven't finished it... Because I'm too busy.

I've been in prayer quite a bit regarding this lately. As I've told other friends, a couple of years ago I felt that being busy was therapeutic and necessary in the healing process that I was going through. That period of time has long since been done and I now I feel convicted over the lack of rest in my life. Even God rested! I realize the importance of taking time for it and I can definitely see the difference in my attitude when I am well rested. All this to say that my "busyness" is not due to ignorance on the topic. Much of the issue may be related to my apparent inability to just "say no." Yes mom, I am agreeing with you - put it on the calendar :o) If I see someone in need, I jump in; if a ministry needs assistance, I'm there to stand in the background and help out; if a friend wants company on an evening that I had intended to spend alone, count me in. Not unreasonable requests or demands on my time by any means but the problem is, I never say no.

As I've come to terms with the fact that I am too busy, I've thought long and hard as to how to change that. That is where my current struggle is. How does one pick what has to go in their life? Please pray for me as I grapple with decisions regarding this. Pray that I am obedient when God directs my path in this area. Pray also that I learn to say no for my own good.

I'm not depressed

So my last couple of posts make me sound like I'm depressed... I'm not :) Just had my heartstrings in a knot. Bear with me while I figure this out.

Ae

I'm Not Who I Was - Brandon Heath

This is one I heard on the radio this morning and I was amazed that the artist had captured my sentiments. I've moved on but only this week did I realize how much further I have to go. It's crazy how long the scars of lost love continue to hurt. Anyway, here it is:

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was

I used to be mad at you

A little on the hurt side too

But I'm not who I was

I found my way around

To forgiving you Some time ago

But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph

I saw me and I had to laugh

You know, I'm not who I was

You were there, you were right above me

And I wonder if you ever loved me

Just for who I was

When the pain came back again

Like a bitter friend

It was all that I could do

To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing

I figured out I can sing

Now I'm not who I was

I write about love and such

Maybe 'cause I want it so much

I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I

I should let you know

I am not the same

But I never did forget your name

Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing

In amazing grace

Is the chance to give it out

Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was

"I wish we could have this conversation. I wish we could really be friends. I wish you knew the real me, and me you. But wishes are often a distraction from reality (whatsoever is true). Reality is that the only one I can truly count on is my Savior. He's never left me, never broken my heart, never made me feel unworthy of his time and affection. He's the strength I need to get over you... No matter how long it takes." And since this post has left me far more vulnerable than I ever intended to be, I'll sign off.

Ae

No One Else Knows

My world is closing in

On the inside

But I'm not showing it

When all I am is crying out

I hold it in and fake a smile

Still I'm broken

I'm broken

Only one can understand

And only one can hold the hand

Of the broken

Of the broken

When no one else knows how I feel

Your love for me is proven real

When no one else cares where I've been

You run to me with outstretched hands

And You hold me in your arms

Again

I need no explanation of why me

I just need confirmation

Only You could understand the emptiness inside my head

I am falling

I am falling

I'm falling down upon my knees

To find the one who gives me peace

I am flyingLord I am flying

When no one else knows how I feel

Your love for me is proven real

When no one else cares where I've been

You run to me with outstretched hands

And You hold me in Your arms

Again

I have come to you in search of faith

Cause I can't see beyond this place

Oh You are God and I am man

So I'll leave it in Your hands

When no one else knows how I feel

Your love for me is proven real

When no one else cares where I've been

You run to me with outstretched hands

When no one else knows how I feel

Your love for me is proven real

When no one else cares where I've been

You run to me with outstretched hands

And You hold me in Your arms,

Ohh You hold me in Your arms,

I know that You'll hold me in Your arms

Again

Building 429 - No One Else Knows

My world is off kilter right now for reasons beyond my control. I'm not depressed; just aching to escape feelings that remain,regardless of my prayers for them to cease. Is this the thorn in my flesh? Was Paul's affliction physical or emotional? How did Job cope with the intense emotions that he felt throughout his trials? How often did Abraham and Sarah ache over their seemingly unanswered prayers? To these questions, I do not know the answers.

What I know for certain is that right now God's answer to my plea is "wait." Not the preferred answer but he is there to comfort me through this time of pain. He knows when I will see the end of it and I will trust him to guide me to the place he wants me to be. Right now, I will fall on my knees and seek rest in him.

I'm trusting that God has his eye on this sparrow

As I sit alone in my apartment, my mind runs wild.

I think this all started because right now there is a bachelorette party going on that, if I would have chosen to attend, would have brought me back in time. As much as I love Rachelle, I just can't go back. Next week is the wedding and that should be interesting enough. This has nothing to do with the small town feeling I get when I spend time with people from home, for that sensation is one that I cherish with pride. Instead the issue is more with seeing and spending time with people who knew me when I was unsure of who I was myself. People that I tried so desperately to impress or mold myself into, who thought they were seeing the real me but instead were only seeing the mask that I thought they wanted to see. I had no idea who I really was, therefore neither did they. Sad really...

As God continues to show me who I am in Him, I'm seeing where I've pushed others away trying to find my identity in so many other things. The freedom I'm finding in finally knowing who I am is somewhat dimmed tonight by the regret of things that I've done and people that I've hurt while I was so focused on myself. The friendships that could have lasted, the relationships that could have been edifying had I only learned this lesson sooner. I am intensely aware of certain people that I've failed, which leads me to question how many more people I've hurt without realizing it.

How do I begin to ask the forgiveness of each and every person that I've wronged? I cannot undo the mistakes that I've made, nor can I live in the past through regret. I'm just not sure where to start. For now I'll start with the only thing that I know to do... I need to get down on my knees.

It's been awhile

Wow! It's been awhile since I've posted anything. Sorry to those of you who've been waiting soooo long. I'd try to recap what's happened over the last few months but there's simply not enough time. I'll try and pick away at it with each new post.

For now I will say this; God continues to amaze me each day. Over the last few months, he's opened my eyes in so many ways. So many times, I find that after I've weathered the storm, he makes it clear why it was necessary. He's not testing me, as I so naively believed as a child, but rather using these experiences to refine me. Each challenge I face, every obstacle I must push through, causes me to be a truer reflection of Christ.

Time's awasting so I'll leave you with this revelation that God has used to change my life most recently. I have a relationship with Christ. He gives my life meaning and is my purpose. However, when I accepted Christ, I did not take on his perfection. In the body of Christ, we are not false Christians when we sin. We are not unstable in our faith when we sin. We are simply sinners, needing Christ to give us strength when we are weak. Christ's sacrifice on the cross should not be taken lightly, as justification for us to sin, but we should also remember that Christ's perfection is what allows us to know him as 'Savior'.