I'm Not Who I Was - Brandon Heath

This is one I heard on the radio this morning and I was amazed that the artist had captured my sentiments. I've moved on but only this week did I realize how much further I have to go. It's crazy how long the scars of lost love continue to hurt. Anyway, here it is:

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was

I used to be mad at you

A little on the hurt side too

But I'm not who I was

I found my way around

To forgiving you Some time ago

But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph

I saw me and I had to laugh

You know, I'm not who I was

You were there, you were right above me

And I wonder if you ever loved me

Just for who I was

When the pain came back again

Like a bitter friend

It was all that I could do

To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing

I figured out I can sing

Now I'm not who I was

I write about love and such

Maybe 'cause I want it so much

I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I

I should let you know

I am not the same

But I never did forget your name

Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing

In amazing grace

Is the chance to give it out

Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was

"I wish we could have this conversation. I wish we could really be friends. I wish you knew the real me, and me you. But wishes are often a distraction from reality (whatsoever is true). Reality is that the only one I can truly count on is my Savior. He's never left me, never broken my heart, never made me feel unworthy of his time and affection. He's the strength I need to get over you... No matter how long it takes." And since this post has left me far more vulnerable than I ever intended to be, I'll sign off.

Ae