Stress

Hello all,

I haven't posted in awhile... Sorry. I've been under an enormous amount of stress. ... For me anyway. It's amazing how so many different areas of my life can become frustrating all at one time. Or is it just that one thing is off so the rest seem worse? Who knows...

The thing that's been the most challenging is work... I spend most of my time there, after all. I used to really enjoy my job and now I'm questioning whether it's time to move on. The work is the same; I'm still balancing dispatch, clerical, and office management responsibilities for Paradigm and Stadium Savers. I've developed great relationships with most of my vendors and have earned the respect of many of our installers. I get a rush figuring out how to get material across the border effectively and giving a late driver what for, and its a great feeling knowing the product so well that I can handle sales calls without disturbing my bosses. Within the front office though, my support system has fallen apart. Rather than having someone communicate with me, back me up, and jump to challenges when needed, I feel like my team is working against me rather than with me. I've tried to step back from the situation in order to find a solution to the problem, and I've come up with a few ideas, but I feel like ultimately I'm hitting a brick wall. Is the Lord trying to tell me to step out of my comfort zone and leave or am I looking for an easy way out of a seemingly endless battle? Am I really to leave a secure job that I love because of an immature woman with an oversized ego? These are the questions I'm trying to answer...

Like I said, this is the biggest of my stresses right now. Some of the others are too close to the heart to comment on here so I'll save those for my offline journal. Your prayers for all of it would be appreciated though. When I read the scripture about perservering through trials, I never imagined it may be a forewarning. Either way, like most, there are trials I am going through. Prayers for strength and wisdom are always appreciated.

Much Love,
Ae

James 1:2-6

Canada was amazing! Amazing scenery, amazing work-out, amazing relationships built, amazing meals (on that, I'm lying through my teeth), and an overall amazing experience with my family of fellow believers. I really got to know the Sr High youth group and it was incredible to see the way God was working in their lives during the week. The teens were not the only ones changed by the wilderness of Canada though; God opened my eyes as well.

Prior to leaving for Canada, we were given "conversation cards" meant to help build relationships between the trip goers. The card was punched and tied to a string that we hung around our neck all week. On one side was numerous questions intended to be conversation starters. On the opposite side was our verse for the week, 1 Peter 5:6-11. Reading 1 Peter caused me to reflect on many different shortcomings in my life, however, it is the verse that was given to us on Monday, 1 James 1:2-6, that continues to strengthen and encourage me.

The verse speaks about persevering through trials. When I signed up to go to Canada, I felt really burdened over a lot of personal issues. Once I made the decision to go, I was excited about the hiking and the canoeing but I was really looking forward to spending time in God's creation without the distractions that my everyday world had to offer. I needed the break! I needed to be refreshed and I really needed to pray for the things weighing my heart down. Beyond the personal issues (that I won't get into), I was having what I considered a serious spiritual struggle. For a time, I'd been feeling that my relationship with Christ was growing "stale." Not in the sense that I was bored, but rather, I wasn't seeing the spiritual growth and maturation that I'd seen in the past. I felt like I was just kind of on hold with Christ, waiting... (not exactly my cup of tea). When I began reading James, I began to reflect on all of the trials of the trip but also the trials of life that I was carrying along with me. In my list, I included my frustration with my seeming lack of spiritual growth. As I contemplated the verse, I realized that it too was a trial that I must perseverance through. It changed my whole perspective!

Wednesday, we had "solo day." A day completely devoted to worshiping Christ; reading, praying, journaling (maybe some crying :o). It was a day of fasting as well. When I left the area I had selected to spend my day in, I felt so refreshed spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I'd spent the time giving my burdens to the Lord and it felt great! I'm not saying I grabbed my rose colored glasses again but I did place my trust back in Him.

Anyway, Canada 06 was an incredible experience. It was more physically challenging than the previous trip I'd made but that just adds to the experience in my book. I also came home with new friends and a couple of new "adoptive" younger brothers. Plus, I now have a great tan and I've lost another 10 lbs. What more could a girl ask for?

Canada 06

I leave for Canada tonight!!! Can you tell I'm excited?

I'm carrying a bit of extra weight this time, but in trying to take the weight back off I've also done a lot more to prepare for the trip, since I now know what to expect. It seems that there is a great group of kids going too; approximately 22. Some who really desire to know Christ and some who know him only on the surface. My hope is that the experience will bring each teen to a deeper knowledge of Christ; that it transforms them individually and also impacts them as a "youth group"

If you would pray for us while we are gone, it would be much appreciated. I'll post pictures and highlights from the trip when I get back.

On a separate note, just after I posted that terrible update photo, this shot was taken of Parker and I. He's getting so big... this was pretty close to his 5 month mark. Amazing how they change so fast...