Saying Goodbye

My uncle Chuck lost his battle with cancer and went to be with the Lord at about 7:30 on Monday morning.  Its been a difficult week; coming to terms with the fact that he's gone, knowing what my aunt and cousins are going through, and making plans to head to a memorial service we prayed for three months wouldn't happen for another twenty years.  With coordination of ShoWest coming to a close, installation of the new KCBC missionary display in full swing, and maintaining the rest of my regular schedule; I feel like I was granted an emotional reprieve for a few days.  Now its Friday evening and other than a leisurely trip to Menards, I have no definite plans, so I'm taking a minute to be emotional.

The sun is slowly setting on a gorgeous March day as I look out the window.  I can't help but compare this closure of the day to the closure of my uncle's life.  Whereas dusk settles in slowly, Chuck's life was quickly cut short by a heinous disease that the world curses daily.  It is a disease that is no respecter of money, class, popularity, looks, or other health.  One that spreads slowly in some but aggressively in others.  Ultimately, a disease where a cure has not been found and many shattered lives lie in its wake.  Originally gall bladder cancer, when it was discovered in November, it had already metastasized to Chuck's liver.  Looking at the way events transpired, three months seems such a short amount of time to have the battle of his life; a sudden closure rather than a slow ebb.   

With the loss of Chuck, my family learns a new pattern of living.  Its been nearly 30 years since we lost my grandfather and otherwise our immediate family has remained intact; no deaths, divorce, or serious rifts.  I don't know if that's rare or common amongst families but I am grateful just the same.  Its just one of the many ways in which we've been blessed.  From what I've gathered, when grandpa died there were many painful firsts, moments where it took time to remember that things were in fact different, and even more moments tagged with "if only he were here to see this."  These things will be repeated with the loss of Chuck.  When the wound has healed and the scar has begun to age, there will be many times we will laugh when thinking of what Chuck's reaction would be to a certain situation, cry when we realize there should be one more person in attendance at an event, and smile as we look forward to the moment when we see him again; whole and healed.  We are what is left of those that go on before us and just as my grandmother grieves and yet finds comfort in seeing the way her family reflects her beloved husband's character, quirks, and interests, my aunt will find that her new pattern of life will remind her often of what a wonderful man she loved.


As I grieve with my family for the passing of a beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, son, uncle, and friend, I can't help but think of family moments, taken for granted at the time but now treasured memories.  I encourage you to take a moment to make sure those you love know how you feel.  Let go of the petty family drama, because you will one day regret the wasted time, and instead grasp hold of the shoulder or hand of those closest to you and thank God for the moments you have remaining.  You never know how many of them there will be.

Ae