Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Pride Comes Before A ...


As a new-ish independent home owner, I've had many instances where I've tackled projects and succeeded in accomplishing them on my own.  Each time there is a sense of empowerment that comes into play.  I find it very easy to take pride in my abilities but I'm also recognizing that there is a line where confidence in one's own abilities ends up reflected in pride or arrogance.  As much as I hate to admit it, I spend quite a bit of time balancing on that line.

Over the last few months, my dad and I have been working on building a new desk for my office.  Its a customized take on the Pottery Barn Bedford Project Table (http://www.potterybarn.com/products/bedford-project-table-set/).  Pier 1 had a similar desk that I posted on my office cork board as a "dream" desk but it was $900 so it was very much a pipe dream.  I was at a friend's house a few months later and I discovered that he'd built the very same desk customized for his family's needs.  From there the wheels started turning in my head and here we are.  Anyway, I purchased the materials for the desk in February, starting the process.  A few weeks later, we cut the components at my dad's and I took the parts home to edge, sand, and paint, thinking I'd be done by the end of the month.  Yeah right!  Not only have I edged, sanded, and painted, I've also routered, re-painted, poly'd, added brackets, assembled, re-configured (due to a significant size miscalculation), re-assembled, and there's still so much more to do.  Add to that unpleasant mix, two very busy people and what seemed a weekend project has turned into a 3 month time investment (probably 6 at the rate we're going).

Another project I've taken on recently has been a spring tune-up on my lawn mower.  I successfully tackled changing the oil, the air filter, and installing an alternate blade so the other could be sharpened.  All good things must come to an end though.  When I mowed my lawn the first time, something happened and the gears on the rear tires stopped turning.  I was too far in to not finish mowing the lawn.  Have you ever mowed a lawn with a mower who's tires refuse to turn??  Lets call it P90X lawn mowing.  Definitely not an experience I planned to repeat.  After a little online research, I had a couple of ideas on what was causing the issue and how to fix it.  Monday night I took things apart and discovered a stick wedged between the belt and track.  With a little elbow grease and grease up to my elbows, I was able to work the stick out and place the belt back in the track.  Last night I took the mower out for its maiden voyage - post repairs.  And the belt snapped just after I made my first outline of my property.  Outstanding!!

As I've struggled through both "sagas", I've been humbled in coming to terms with my own inabilities.  For starters, I am not a contractor or a mechanic.  I am a perfectionist.  I am concerned with appearances.  I am impatient.  I have a temper.  I am selfish.  I am pushy.  You see how much uglier it got as I made my list?  Yeah, me too...

How fortunate I am to serve a Savior who knew my imperfections when he chose to come to this earth to die for the sin of man.  "So then, shall I continue sinning?"  Certainly not!  I can, however, rest in the knowledge that he's covered my sin and also gave the Holy Spirit to help me conquer the temptation to dwell in my inability.  I am honestly no humbler or wiser through my current struggles and I am guaranteed to struggle and fail more in the future but its a relief to know its covered and he loves me anyway.

That's all for now.  I've gotta make a run for a new lawn mower belt.  Be blessed.

2 comments:

Big Chaille Fish said...

Loved seeing that you had a new post.

The desk is going to look beatiful!

Hope you have been able to get on your bike lately! Ride an extra mile for me, k :)

Keeping you in my prayers!

R.M.Gilbert said...

So your gift may not be mechanics, but you are blessed with so many others. And there is something to be said for trying. ;)

I loved your post but am sorry for the struggles--desk,lawnmower...
er...lawn mower again.

Hope it's all been straightened out. Sending you virtual(((hugs))).