Distraction

So I learned today that Case Maranville of CP is getting married... Soon. In a week to be exact... Oh well; he was a nice distraction for a little while :) Now the youth group kids will have to find someone new to try and "hook me up with." Gotta love relationship help from well meaning teenagers... Course I haven't done so well on my own so maybe I should take the help as it's offered :) I love 'em. (the kids I mean) Anyway, ttfn.

Casting Pearls

Last fall, I was introduced (in a manner of speaking) to a band called Casting Pearls. They performed at the Ionia Free Fair with Newsboys and it was an incredible show. Over the course of the last two weeks, I've seen them twice more with the teens from our youth group. They're currently on tour "The 180 Tour" with Crystal Woodson Miller and Sara Brendall.

For those of you not familiar with this band, check them out. They're old CD has an early PFR feel with a little more electric guitar, and the new CD is a sound all their own. Their lyrics encourage evangelism and being real in your personal walk with Christ. Each of the concerts I've attended have been high energy and very reflective... Not to mention that they have an incredibly hot bass player. (Am I too old to say stuff like that? Maybe I'm spending too much time with teenagers...)

So anyway, that's my plug. Check out Casting Pearls! You won't regret it. Here are a few pics from the concerts I've been to, and of course most of them are of just the bass player :)

Stress

Hello all,

I haven't posted in awhile... Sorry. I've been under an enormous amount of stress. ... For me anyway. It's amazing how so many different areas of my life can become frustrating all at one time. Or is it just that one thing is off so the rest seem worse? Who knows...

The thing that's been the most challenging is work... I spend most of my time there, after all. I used to really enjoy my job and now I'm questioning whether it's time to move on. The work is the same; I'm still balancing dispatch, clerical, and office management responsibilities for Paradigm and Stadium Savers. I've developed great relationships with most of my vendors and have earned the respect of many of our installers. I get a rush figuring out how to get material across the border effectively and giving a late driver what for, and its a great feeling knowing the product so well that I can handle sales calls without disturbing my bosses. Within the front office though, my support system has fallen apart. Rather than having someone communicate with me, back me up, and jump to challenges when needed, I feel like my team is working against me rather than with me. I've tried to step back from the situation in order to find a solution to the problem, and I've come up with a few ideas, but I feel like ultimately I'm hitting a brick wall. Is the Lord trying to tell me to step out of my comfort zone and leave or am I looking for an easy way out of a seemingly endless battle? Am I really to leave a secure job that I love because of an immature woman with an oversized ego? These are the questions I'm trying to answer...

Like I said, this is the biggest of my stresses right now. Some of the others are too close to the heart to comment on here so I'll save those for my offline journal. Your prayers for all of it would be appreciated though. When I read the scripture about perservering through trials, I never imagined it may be a forewarning. Either way, like most, there are trials I am going through. Prayers for strength and wisdom are always appreciated.

Much Love,
Ae

James 1:2-6

Canada was amazing! Amazing scenery, amazing work-out, amazing relationships built, amazing meals (on that, I'm lying through my teeth), and an overall amazing experience with my family of fellow believers. I really got to know the Sr High youth group and it was incredible to see the way God was working in their lives during the week. The teens were not the only ones changed by the wilderness of Canada though; God opened my eyes as well.

Prior to leaving for Canada, we were given "conversation cards" meant to help build relationships between the trip goers. The card was punched and tied to a string that we hung around our neck all week. On one side was numerous questions intended to be conversation starters. On the opposite side was our verse for the week, 1 Peter 5:6-11. Reading 1 Peter caused me to reflect on many different shortcomings in my life, however, it is the verse that was given to us on Monday, 1 James 1:2-6, that continues to strengthen and encourage me.

The verse speaks about persevering through trials. When I signed up to go to Canada, I felt really burdened over a lot of personal issues. Once I made the decision to go, I was excited about the hiking and the canoeing but I was really looking forward to spending time in God's creation without the distractions that my everyday world had to offer. I needed the break! I needed to be refreshed and I really needed to pray for the things weighing my heart down. Beyond the personal issues (that I won't get into), I was having what I considered a serious spiritual struggle. For a time, I'd been feeling that my relationship with Christ was growing "stale." Not in the sense that I was bored, but rather, I wasn't seeing the spiritual growth and maturation that I'd seen in the past. I felt like I was just kind of on hold with Christ, waiting... (not exactly my cup of tea). When I began reading James, I began to reflect on all of the trials of the trip but also the trials of life that I was carrying along with me. In my list, I included my frustration with my seeming lack of spiritual growth. As I contemplated the verse, I realized that it too was a trial that I must perseverance through. It changed my whole perspective!

Wednesday, we had "solo day." A day completely devoted to worshiping Christ; reading, praying, journaling (maybe some crying :o). It was a day of fasting as well. When I left the area I had selected to spend my day in, I felt so refreshed spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I'd spent the time giving my burdens to the Lord and it felt great! I'm not saying I grabbed my rose colored glasses again but I did place my trust back in Him.

Anyway, Canada 06 was an incredible experience. It was more physically challenging than the previous trip I'd made but that just adds to the experience in my book. I also came home with new friends and a couple of new "adoptive" younger brothers. Plus, I now have a great tan and I've lost another 10 lbs. What more could a girl ask for?

Canada 06

I leave for Canada tonight!!! Can you tell I'm excited?

I'm carrying a bit of extra weight this time, but in trying to take the weight back off I've also done a lot more to prepare for the trip, since I now know what to expect. It seems that there is a great group of kids going too; approximately 22. Some who really desire to know Christ and some who know him only on the surface. My hope is that the experience will bring each teen to a deeper knowledge of Christ; that it transforms them individually and also impacts them as a "youth group"

If you would pray for us while we are gone, it would be much appreciated. I'll post pictures and highlights from the trip when I get back.

On a separate note, just after I posted that terrible update photo, this shot was taken of Parker and I. He's getting so big... this was pretty close to his 5 month mark. Amazing how they change so fast...

Farewell to the Captain

Photo by CARLOS OSORIO, AP

While not surprised, I was sad to learn that Steve Yzerman had decided to retire.

I'm new to the world of hockey; a fan for only a few years, however, when I began watching the Wings, it was easy to see who led the team. It will be odd to not see the captain on the ice but at the same time, it's exciting to see what his next step will be. I know they've offered him an office job but, along with almost every other Wings fan out there, I'm hoping to see him in a coaching position.

I can't adequately do the story justice so I've included a link to a great write up on the former captain of the wings... hopefully it works.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/sports/hockey/nhl/san_jose_sharks/14960741.htm

Headline - "Bubbles to Wed"

I just knew he couldn't wait...

Matt had this great plan as to how he was going to propose but he's now engaged a month earlier than planned. The doggone ring burned a hole in his pocket... I joke, but really I'm ecstatic :o)

Much love to you both! Looking forward to the day when you're legally a part of our family, Rae (cuz everyone knows you made it into our hearts a long time ago). If it was up to me, you are exactly what I would have picked for my baby brother...

Ae

First Date - Update

For all of those who are curious... I haven't heard from my "online friend" since the date. In my mind, it sends a pretty clear message. Considering our hours of prior communication, it would be very courteous of him to at least call.

Regardless of my disappointment over the fact that the relationship didn't continue, my life has been changed by our friendship. He helped me to see what a selfless man my age behaves like. Getting to know him also helped me to realize that there are men who share my interests, my passions, and also similar insecurities. In fact, most people walk around "broken" in some way and it is through those imperfections that God connects us on a deeper level.

As far as first dates go; my advice to all is 1) immediately plan a second date if you're even somewhat interested in the person. If your nerves do get in the way of the first date, hopefully by the second date you'll be a little more comfortable. 2) Pick something fun that you both enjoy. It may have helped to keep things casual/natural and alleviated some of the nervous energy. We should have gone fishing...

Although my communication with this particular person is seemingly over, good has come from the experience. No regrets! Just a stepping stone in the path of life...

It's time - Update 1

I LOST TEN POUNDS!!!

(okay so this picture is bad but it's the most current one I have)

While I generally avoid the scale like the plague, I took a risk and stepped on it last night. I figured since I've committed to becoming healthier, I should take a peek. I'm glad I did... It's great encouragement! Hawaii bikini(s), here I come :o) Okay, so that's cheesy, but I'm excited about meeting my goal.

It's encouraged me to become more dedicated to my daily fitness routine. Surprisingly, I was more committed throughout the winter. Once the weather warmed up, I convinced myself I'd continue my routine outdoors and could ditch the pricey gym membership. I went from a daily 1 hour aerobic workout and weight routine to a 3-day a week cardio "attempt." While I've lost weight going the lazy route, I keep thinking how much more I could have accomplished had I been more willing to part with my cash.

So anyway, back to the gym I go... If only they'd splurge for a little air conditioning :o)

Thanks for the support! Please keep cheering me on...

First Date Jitters...

So cluing many of you in... In March I met this great guy online. After emailing for several weeks and spending countless hours on the phone, we decided to meet face to face. Last night we had our first "date"... A scary concept at first :o)

Anyway, what a gentleman! He opened doors and allowed me to enter first, paid for everything, and was even willing to meet my "safety net" of Brenda and David enjoying desert in a nearby booth. Just an overall great guy! (which completely fit my expectation of him based on our previous conversations)

Only one problem; I was a nervous wreck all night! My generally outgoing nature flew right out the window and I felt completely tongue tied and could barely meet his eyes (which were very nice; possibly another cause for my nerves :o). The point of meeting someone face to face is to determine chemistry. Just because two people can talk for hours, they may find no attraction to each other on a physical level... I get that completely, however, I had hoped that I'd be able to put my best foot forward and be able to converse comfortably. Instead my stomach was in knots and I kept trying to keep my foot out of my mouth... It was a nice evening but at the end of the night, I don't think either of us was sure what the other one was thinking regarding chemistry :o(

I guess I'll just call it "first date jitters." We'll see what happens from here... Wish me luck!

Amber Can Cook

When talking to a friend the other night, he seemed surprised that I could cook. Not a big deal to me but a very big deal to him. By asking a few simple questions, I discovered that he'd grown up in a home where Sunday was the only day he got a home-cooked meal. I can't even fathom that...

Our conversation made me realize how spoiled I've been that, not only did I have entrees prepared from scratch, I had a family meal nearly nightly. Sure my siblings and I bickered over who sat where and who got the "pretty fork," but really, the time that we were able to spend at the dinner table was precious. We discussed our daily adventures, spent a little time confessing, shared our hopes and dreams, and talked about scripture and faith. It was a time where we were free to discuss anything and everything without concern over whether it was "proper" or the time limit.

Through our nightly conversation time, I learned who my family really was, the good and the bad. I can't imagine missing that during my childhood!! What a blessing to have the ability to be free to talk and share a meal with family. I never realized how rare a treat it was...

As Mother's Day has passed and Father's Day is quickly approaching, it's a great time to reflect on the priorities that one's parents have maintained. To my parents, communication and conversation was important, not only in their relationship, but also within our entire family unit. For that I will forever be grateful...

The joy and sorrow of a cousin's marriage

Yesterday, my cousin Lexi married the man she loves, Jesse Stamper. The wedding was beautiful, the bride gorgeous in her white gown, and the reception a time to look around and appreciate the blessing of family (and what a large and boistrous family I have...)

Following the reception, we gathered around to wish the couple well and squeeze in one last hug. As I stood looking around at my cousins, aunts, and uncles waiting for a moment of Lexi and Jesse's attention, I realized that in one sense we were saying goodbye. This morning there will be a family brunch, and then Lexi will be moving to Kentucky with her new husband (following their honeymoon in the Smokies). Of course we'll see her again; but her family will be established in Kentucky and that is where it will grow. We will share her joys and sorrows from a distance, over phone and email, rather than through a hug or a visit. Watching her walk down the aisle gave us cause for celebration, however, wishing her a safe journey causes us to pause in sadness. While leaving and cleaving is what God intended, it's not always easy.

I wish you well Lexi (and Jesse)... Don't forget where home once was. We'll miss you!

Today Features Extended Hours

Wouldn't it be nice if one morning, rather than waking up to the annoyance of the typical ring of our alarm, we woke to hear the alarm announcing that the day would feature extended hours. Like the mall at Christmas! Rather than having 24 hours to that particular day, somehow there'd be a couple of extras squeezed in there.

With a couple of extra hours a week, we could all take care of some of the stuff we either put off or only dream of. I could finish the great book I've started reading, play soccer with my niece and nephew, spend more time in prayer or devotions; maybe I'd even be on time to things. Seriously! Brenda would have one more hour to spend with Parker and David before going to Hackley; Kasey one more hour to talk to Mark before she was off to Grices. Just think of the possibilities!

For today, let's all pretend that we're living in extended hours. I just spent part of my hour washing my shower curtain and fiddling online... What about you?

It's time

Regardless of how commitment phobic I've become, I'm going to take the leap. ... and NO I'm not getting involved again (sorry to my matchmaking friends and family).

Often, until you tell other people about something, you aren't completely committed to follow through with it. Maybe that's why couples invite everyone they know to witness their exchange of vows. Occasionally they need someone to remind them that they promised "till death do us part." This is kind of one of those things, only on a much smaller scale.

I'm on a quest to create a "healthier me." That's my commitment. Not to be a size 0 or run 15 miles; simply to be healthier. Maybe it's strange that I'm announcing it like this but I really need my friends and family to encourage me and keep me accountable. So, now I'm committed! If God can change me on the inside, I can certainly change me on the outside :o)

What a Bummer!

Tonight as I was leaving work, I got to see the sun set... at 7 PM! What wonder! What joy! And then I remembered that soon the clocks will change and leave us all in the dark again. Bummer.

Do most people even need an extra hour of daylight in the morning??? I certainly don't. I really don't mind not seeing the sun until I'm leaving the gym; nor do I mind not having it peek in my window on the mornings that I'm able to sleep in. However, it'd be grand to have that wonderful fire ball illuminating an evening hike or bike ride. Might be nice to plant flowers or visit friends in the daylight after a few frustrating hours at work too. But no, we get a glimpse of the freedom that daylight offers, then it's lights out again.

I'll say it again "What a bummer!"

Enjoy the late sunsets friends, they'll be coming a lot sooner in just a few short days...

Hmmm

So the quote in my Franklin today is "Those whom we support hold us up in life." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach)

Not quite sure I agree with this one. In my mind, it's another one of those things that's circumstantial. I can support someone all I want but they may still be too self-centered to "hold me up." Unless of course she means that supporting others keeps us from getting where we need to be. I guess that depends on where we need to be.

I don't think I'm making much sense today. It's one of those "ouch" kind of days; too many memories, good and bad. Can't undo the past but, regardless of my approval, it shapes the future. As much as I've grown and learned, some days I still hurt for what could have been. What should have been... Whatever though! Moving on...

2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in weakness"
Song of the day... "For the Moments I Feel Faint" - Reliant K (it pretty much says it all)

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you your wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong
I throw up my hands "Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and place them in your hands,
place them in your hands, place themin your hands

... laboring until Christ is formed in us

So I attended a church ministries conference at Calvary Baptist this weekend. The experience was much different than what I was expecting! Actually, I’m not even sure what I was expecting...

The conference took place Friday evening and all day Saturday; 3 sessions total with speaking and music interspersed. The sessions that I selected were entitled “The Privilege of Prayer,” “Passing the Baton - Mentoring the Next Generation,” and a final session entitled “Making Relationships Real with Teens.” The insights that I gained through these lessons were priceless!

If ever you’ve considered attending the conference and haven’t made it a priority, DO IT!!! I can guarantee that you won’t regret it. Course you’ll have to wait a year to test that guarantee :o)

For those of you who were there with me; Let us remain focused on the fact that we labor for one thing… “that Christ may be formed in us” (Galatians 4:19)

Song of the Day... "Every Little Thing" - Hawk Nelson
"Life can be so simple if we'd all just learn to pray"

Office Visit

Here is a new photo of one of my favorite office visitors (notice the paperwork behind his head). He and his mommy joined me for lunch today, following his second doctor’s appointment. He got his first shot this morning and was a little trooper about it.

More to follow…

Please pray for my friend...

Last night the title of our Jr. High study was “God’s Nation in Distress.” We walked through the development of Jerusalem (via Ezekiel 16). Throughout the devotional, we compared the way that God was disregarded by his chosen people to the way that we regard Him and those that love us the most; our parents.

The conversations that our study led to were amazing! Girls who normally sit and chat amongst themselves during the study actually got involved in our discussion. They really opened up and left themselves vulnerable for a change. It was encouraging to see them focus and yet sad to discover the pain that lay buried deep within.

There is a beautiful young lady that I am blessed to have in my group of girls this year. She is funny, vibrant, and loyal but she has a broken heart and it is quickly and drastically affecting the person that she is becoming. Please join me in prayer for her. Specifically, pray that she begins to desire an intimate relationship with her Savior; the only One who can heal her broken heart. Also pray that she progresses in the openness that she exhibited last night and that she is reminded of our study and remains consistently aware of her behavior toward those who love her.

Thanks in advance for your prayers.

Ae

Just another day at Paradigm

Yesterday morning, as I watched the snow gently fall on the window that parallels my desk, I couldn’t help but think about how blessed my life is. Funny how a tiny little thing like a snow flake makes one appreciate life. God is good!

Pushing the Line

Here’s a question that I’ve been seriously conntemplating lately… Why is it that Christians are constantly pushing their way to the edge of the line that scripture has clearly defined? I’m so guilty of this it’s sad. Seriously!

For example, when does someone become a glutton? Or at what point does a physical relationship become fornication? What about materialism; when does one cross from simply enjoying the act of shopping or having nice things, to becoming a materialist. Alcohol; why is it that we can’t be satisfied with having a drink or two? Why must we take it to the point where we have a buzz or we’ve gone way too far and we’re flat out drunk? These examples are really just the tip of the iceberg! Why do we try to get as close as possible to the line that we know we are not to cross? Why is the temptation to test the boundary so great?

I’m not talking about moral nonbelievers; I’m talking about people with seemingly healthy relationships with Christ. If we asked around, we’d probably find that a majority of Christians have things that they regret doing or getting involved in. I certainly do! The regretted acts aren’t things that most of us intended to do, but we took enough steps in the wrong direction that we eventually fell off the cliff. Our seemingly minor daily decisions brought us closer and closer to the line that we didn’t want to cross. Before we knew it, we were shocked to discover that we’d stepped over that line. Personally, I can’t lie and say that I didn’t want to take those first steps; it was only the big ones I never planned.

So what’s the draw? Why do we so strongly desire to test the limits; push the line?

I’m at a loss…

I Live!

Do you ever have days where you’re just excited to be alive and healthy?

Maybe I’m alone in that… Following being miserably sick for over a week, I find myself extremely excited to be healthy again. I’m talking a spring in my step, whistling, the whole gambit. Some days it’s great to look around, breathe in and out (without an inhaler), and thank God that I am alive and healthy.

Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it.

Song of the Day… “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” - Song of The South
“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, My, oh my what a wonderful day! Plenty of sunshine heading my way, Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!"

When allergies get you down, laugh!

If you don’t have allergies, you may not understand.

A few years ago, I noticed that I was constantly exhibiting cold-like behavior. My primary doctor recommended that I make a trip to an allergist. Sounded great to me! I'd finally feel better; no sniffling, sneezing, itching eyes, etc. So I made an appointment and awaited my big day. It didn't bode well when, upon entering the reception area, I heard a child wailing down the hall. I couldn't imagine what they were doing to make a kid scream like that. Not a terrified scream, but a miserable one nonetheless. I would soon see...

Little did I know that the only way to determine whether a person is allergic to something is to stick the head of a "toothpick" into the person's back. A toothpick, might I add, that has been dipped in an allergen. Did you know that there are darn near 9o airborne allergens? Neither did I. That means 90 toothpicks stuck into your back, while your shirt is off in a cold room. Not cool!

Once they've stuck you full of holes, they leave you to sit for 20 minutes with clear instructions not to scratch. This is probably pretty easy for someone who doesn't end up being allergic to much. When you're allergic to a quarter of the things they've stuck you with, it's a challenging feat. So there I sat, 20 minutes later, dying to reach my hand around to my shoulder blade for a quick little swipe when the doctor stepped through the door. Low and behold, several of their "stickings" had become raised and red. Gee, what fun! (I was beginning to understand why the kid was screaming). My doctor proceeded to tell me that I was in fact allergic to several (major understatement) allergens and they needed to do further testing. Know what that means? I'll tell you. It means they repeat the toothpick process on a smaller scale on your arm, just to be sure. Boy was I enjoying my visit!

Needless to say, I made it through that day. I now know that I am allergic to many things easily treated by medication. The down side is that the medication has "possible" side effects that at times seem worse than the occasional sniffles. For instance, I get sinus infections... a lot! (kind of gross, I know) This is why I’m sitting at home on my computer rather than being out with my friends. Scripture says to "count it all joy" so that's what I'm going to do. Being sick is not generally joyful but at least I can laugh about my trip to the doctor... And when my head stops feeling like it's going to blow off like one of those helium balloons that's had it's plug pulled, I'll laugh at that too. You have to admit, it does make a funny mental picture :o) While you laugh, I’m going to go take more medicine and crawl back in to bed…

The Day of the Heart

Valentine's Day passed quietly this year and yet it was definitely a day for reflection.

This time last year I was kind of a mess. Spiritually I was growing in leaps and bounds but I was a wreck emotionally. I had so many questions and so few answers. When I was offered an opportunity to get the answers I so desperately needed, I jumped at the chance. Sadly, my focus was still on me rather than Christ. When I took that leap, I fell, HARD! Not only did I not get the closure I needed, I started over in the healing process, both spiritually and emotionally.

This year, my focus is where it should have been all along. As I’ve said in the past, it's not about me, it's about Him! Through the showering of His love, He's taught me that the only answer I need is Him. Regardless of the path that my life takes or the choices (good and bad) that I make, my questions were answered a long time ago on Calvary. He’s it! As a Christian that’s all I need, so yesterday was a good day.

I did appreciate the flowers though…

Suggested Book... "Falling in Love with Jesus" - Dee Brestin & Kathy Troccoli

“The secret to an abundant life lies not in ten steps, but in developing a deep love relationship with Jesus, abandoning yourself to the greatest romance of your life!”

Great Song!

So this morning as I was dragging my sorry, sleepy butt through my pre-work routine, I heard Pillar's latest song "Frontline"... Great! Of course I'd heard it before but never in the frame of mind that I was in. Additionally, I don't think I'd ever listened to the lyrics in depth. Anyway, so here's my song of the day. The whole thing...

"Frontline" - Pillar

It's not like I'm walkin alone
Into the valley of the shadow of death
Stand beside one another
Cause it ain't over yet

And I'd be willing to bet that if we don't back down
You and I'll be the ones that are holding the crown
In the end when it's over we can say well done
But not yet cause its only begun

So pick up and follow me we're the only ones
To fight this thing until we've won
We drive on and don't look back
Doesn't mean we can't learn from our past

And all the things that we mighta done wrong
We could've been doing this all along

Everybody with your fist raised high
Let me hear your battle cry tonight
Stand beside or step aside
We're on the frontlines

And we'll be carrying on
Until the day it doesn't matter anymore
Step aside you forgot what this is for
We fight to live we live to fight and tonight you'll hear my battle cry

We live our lives out on the frontlines
We're not afraid of the fast times
These days have opened up my eyes
And now I see where the threat lies

We've got to lead the way

Reflections on the weekend

Yet another weekend has passed...

Of course the biggest part of the weekend was the superbowl. My sister (and roomie) and I spent the evening with our home fellowship group enjoying good study, good fellowship, good food (of course), and a borderline football game.

Seriously, what was with the refs this year? The Seahawks were robbed. Not of victory, that may have never happened, but of an equal opportunity. The flag on their touchdown in the first quarter, maybe I'll give them that, but the second quarter call regarding the Steelers second touchdown... Just ridiculous!

Okay, I'm done with my rant now. I did find some of the commercials to be entertaining and I won $25. Maybe next year I'll get to see a good game...

Here I am

Thanks for visiting my blog! I'm excited to be able to say that I've created it with very little techie help (thanks Sara and Josh).
As you scroll through my ramblings, I hope that you come away feeling like you know me better. Life is so busy at times! My intent here is to give my family and friends a chance to check up on my life. So anyway, here I am. Feel free to comment (please be nice) and check back any time.
Ae
P.S. If the internet isn't really your thing, feel free to call my cell.

Parker

photo courtesy of Leah Turner

He’s here!!!! Yes, the waiting has ended and Parker has finally arrived. Thursday, January 26 at 2:52 PM, Parker Duane Jones entered the world. Parker after his daddy and Duane after his grandpa was 7lb 4oz and 20” long. He has his daddy’s eyes and brown hair and his mommy’s nose and mouth; a perfect combination. Parker also ended up with his grandpa’s big hands J Daddy brought mommy and Parker home from the hospital on Saturday and everyone is doing well.

I was honored to attend and assist David and Brenda in Parker’s birth. What an incredible experience! If I never have children of my own, the event will go down as the greatest in my life. How someone can experience such a thing and still deny the existence of our Creator, I will never know. They are so intricately made; both mother and child. Our bodies are designed so expertly to be able to withstand and perform in such a manner. Wow! That’s about all I can say… Amazing!

photos courtesy of my cell

Psalm 139:13-16
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Today’s Song… “He Gets That From Me” – Reba McIntire
“His curly hair and his knobby knees, the way the sun brings those freckles out. Talk and talk, never miss a beat, yeah, he gets that from me”

Katelyn's Fish

To Katelyn,

Once upon a time
In a land not so far away
There lived four friendly goldfish
They were very happy fish
Swimming and playing in their watery home
Then one day the wind turned cold
And the scent of winter was in the air
The fish’s friend Katelyn was worried
Would her pals freeze if left outside?
She kneeled one night and said a prayer
Asking God to provide for her friends
“Bring them a home to keep them warm,
And a nice person to feed them too.”
Then I came along with a great big pond
And a selection of fish flakes and pellets
Katelyn’s fish would even make new friends
And they’d live in a jungle of sorts
With a waterfall like home, and a fountain
So Katelyn’s fish took a ride to the city
They were excited to join their new friends
They’re now happy and healthy
And looking forward to summer again

Whatamessage!

Wow! Isn't it funny sometimes how a sermon can catch you just right?

Sunday, our pastor wrapped up our three week "Spiritual Retreat". His focus was on emptying our spiritual suitcase of all the things that weigh us down and he used a verse in Luke to challenge us to commit to dying to those things. It was simply incredible and touched on so many of the things I've been struggling with lately. Each of the 5 things he listed could be directly applied to my life and I found myself wanting to dispose of all that burdens me.

I continued to ponder his message as I went about the rest of my day and I found myself coming back to his Aslan Ethic, "He gave up so much to gain so little." I realized that I am in a position to do the same. I can give up my materialism, let go of my bitterness, walk away from my fixation on other people's approval, and I can certainly deny myself the things that bring brief pleasure. In doing so, I will gain the things that I cannot purchase or work hard enough for; contentment, fulfillment, joy.

It's so simple and yet I've fought so long to hang on to my "baggage". For what purpose though? All I can say is that I'm realizing it's time to let go... Pastor Chris, I am unloading my suitcase, thanks in part to your encouragement.

Luke 10:41
"Martha, Martha," He said, "thou art careful and troubled about many things"

Today’s Song… “Cares Chorus” - Kelly Willard“I cast all my cares upon You. I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet. And any time I don't know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.”

Forever

A friend recently asked me what forever meant. Specifically, he was questioning whether it was a subjective term used by females. After much consideration, I gave him an answer. Because I spent so much time thinking about it, I thought I'd post an edited version of my response. To this friend (you know who you are), I hope that you find a satisfying answer to your question...

From my perspective, the use of the word forever does depend on the circumstance. While I don't believe that this is a gender specific issue, I have noticed that the softer sex is more open to using this type of word. However, when "forever" is used carelessly by either sex, it doesn't retain the same meaning as when it's used with careful consideration.

Ultimately, the only thing that is guaranteed forever is God. Humans are weak and sinful creatures and often our forever only stretches as far as our earthly concept of the word. Because of this, things that were intended to be 'forever' (i.e. life, love, patience, kindness, etc.) have deadlines caused by sin. When those things expire, pain is an unavoidable result.

Keep this thought in mind as you decide whether to focus the majority of your time in things that may not last forever...

Psalm 102:27
"You are always the same, your years never end.”

Today's song... "I am" - Mark Schultz
“The author and perfecter, beginning and the end, I am”

An Endless Wait

I've decided that friends and families of women who are induced or have C-section deliveries are oblivious to what a blessing a scheduled birth is. As I await the birth of my closest friend's first child, I find myself unreasonably irritated by the unpredictability of the event.

She has asked me to be present when her little guy arrives and I am truly honored to take part, however, the waiting is frustrating. Technically she's not due until January 30 so there's really no rush, but she's showing signs that give us reason to believe he'll come sooner than that. Hence, my impatience.

I find myself with a cell phone as a constant companion. Whether I'm showering or sleeping, at work or church, my LG is ever present. Typically, I'm very considerate with my cell phone as it relates to those around me, but I'm finding that being available at all times is trumping my usual consideration.

As I contemplate the source of my frustration, I have to admit to myself that it is not related to my cell phone or even being able to control the situation. The heart of the issue is that I'm struggling to watch someone I care about suffer. For 9 months she's struggled with an unusually difficult pregnancy. Knowing that "the end is near" is great consolation but not knowing how much longer she will have to continue in pain may prove to be my undoing. Of course I'm excited to lay eyes on a child that was created as a result of the love between this husband and wife, but I'm truly looking forward to the end of my friend’s discomfort.

So I continue my vigilance and maintain my relationship with my cell phone. Until I get that call, I will continue to pray that little Parker arrives quickly and puts an end to our waiting.

1 Samuel 12:16
"Now stand still and see the great thing the LORD will do before your eyes.”

Today's Song... "He's My Son" - Mark Schultz
"I'm down on my knees again tonight; I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right"

A special little boy

Nine years ago today Ryan Owen Kennedy took his first breath! While my family didn’t meet him until nearly two years later, this little guy would forever alter our lives.

Surprisingly, I remember the exact day that I was first introduced. It was the day of my senior prom and my sister’s new boyfriend had brought his son along for a visit. What a cutie! He was a chubby, waddling, toe-head and I fell in love the moment I laid eyes on him. Despite the excitement of my date’s arrival, I distinctly remember taking a moment to watch Ryan play in a puddle in the driveway, oblivious to the chaos around him.

Long story short, my sister ended up marrying that boyfriend and the smiling blonde baby became my first nephew, and only thus far. (No pressure Matt & Rae J) Over the last 9 years, he’s grown to be a bright, sensitive, and fun-loving child. A little rough around the edges at times, as all boys were designed to be, but a joy to be around. He’s a wonderful big brother to his sisters and I’m proud to call him my nephew. He’s an irreplaceable part of our family.

So anyway, Happy Birthday Ryan! I’ve got a present all wrapped up with your name on it. I’ll see you this weekend.

Psalm 127:3
“Truly children are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Today’s song… “Godspeed” – The Dixie Chicks
“The rocket racer’s all tuckered out, Superman’s in pajamas on the couch. Goodnight moon, we’ll find the mouse, and I love you”

Epiphany

I have this issue... At times I think it's a rather wonderful characteristic but occasionally I find it frustrating. "What?" you say. I over think things; yes I'll even admit it. For instance, the other day I was contemplating friendships. I have a friend who has basically been abandoned by those who should be looking out for him. Being the type of person who jumps into relationships heart first, I have never understood those who enter relationships only in an attempt to appease their own selfish nature. (I could go off on a serious bunny trail here).

Yesterday, as I considered the situation that this friend has found himself in, I had this amazing epiphany. I'm a firm believer that in healthy loving relationships, your love is reflected when your main concern becomes meeting the needs of the other person. You don't have to worry about meeting your own needs because real love means that they will be striving to meet your needs as well. This becomes quite evident in marriage relationships but can also be seen in friendships. (Allow me a minute to stress the fact that humans are incapable of meeting all of each other's emotional needs and this is where a relationship with Christ comes in to play. Now that being said, please continue.)

So the really amazing thing that finally clicked with me is this; if earthly love is even a dim reflection of Christ's love for the church, I don't have to worry about me. My physical needs; but also my dreams, goals, and my hearts deepest longings; Christ knows those things and he is concerned and focused on me to the point of meeting those needs. Alternately, my only concern should be living a life that glorifies him. A life that worships him and reflects my love for him.

As my mind tried to consider all of the far reaching affects of this, I was overcome with a sense of peace. My focus lately has been how to heal and bring my life to a point where I'm satisfied with my status. I've struggled to find that place and my intimate connection with Christ, at times, has seemed non-existent. What I'm realizing is that taking care of my self emotionally has never been my responsibility and my focus on it has kept me from truly loving Christ. I can allow Someone else to step in and take care of it for me but even more so, I can find purpose in falling deeply in love with my Savior.

As I try to allow this thought to change my life, may it also challenge you to discontinue putting your needs above the longings of our Savior's heart.

John 15:7
If you remain in me, and my words remain in you, you will ask what you desire, and it will be granted!

Today’s song… “You Make Me Come Alive” – Rebecca St. James